We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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