Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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