he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
