mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
someone owes me an orgasm
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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