I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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