yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
dude. I can hear the air.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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