Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
