I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
