so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
