Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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