That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
