Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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