Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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