He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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