She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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