I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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