Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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