just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
