im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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