Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
