I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize