Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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