i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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