u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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