I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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