She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
