why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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