i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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