you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
