O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
