Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
