your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There r osticjed everywhere
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
