This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
