I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
