Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
