oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
