It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
