Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
