You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize