I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
