Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize