If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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