Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
