I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize