It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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