Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Girls should come with a carfax report
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
