I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
