I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
BRING THE BAGELS
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
