Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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