Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
