i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
