ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
