i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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