So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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