So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
