Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
