I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
