we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize