so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
