My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
