Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize