if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
